Beyond Redemption

           

          

            Deep in the night- It was something I only see in my dreams; the extreme desperation of running away from something that was chasing me. While everything around was moving fast, I got to see myself losing my mind of how ridiculously slow I was. I kept on running in a seemingly grim and horrendous backdrop, the setting of which my childhood memories of horror films came alive. The road was endless just like a terrible loop of an agonizing song my grandma used to play. I believed everything was for real. I could hear my heart deafening my ears as it pounded so loud. I could feel the generous amount of perspiration dripping from the topmost of my forehead. The fear started to cripple me as I could sense that my predator might be something bigger, fiercer, and obviously threatening. What kind of stupid is a person for not thinking of those things in the first place before starting to run for his life. Knowing my self the most, I knew I made the right decision of running though as I finally stopped and turned to see what was after me, I only saw the thick fog formations that gave everything the creeps. Maybe I was really a special kind of stupid, but it would be preferable to admit that maybe all was just a part of a dark illusion I created in my sleep.

            A dream, an alternative universe that I could access for free but of which ends as I command it to be or by outside forces of which I no longer take control.

            12:43 AM- I chose to wake up not wanting to admit that even in my dream I was really a special kind of stupid. I loathed the idea of it and I didn't want anything of that nature be associated with me. No, I am not dumb, slow, dimwitted, and most of all stupid. How could that be possible? I finished a Master's Degree in Finance with top commendations and endorsements from my professors. I was a successful stock broker who brought everything on the table. I always told my little daughter, Claire, to ask me anything she wanted and daddy would provide in return. I showered my loving wife with gifts and adoration every month and as far as I've remembered, there was not a day in my life that I didn't feel ecstatic going home from my equally exciting job. I felt like I was the luckiest man in the world. Or so I thought.

            12:55 AM- Finally, I decided to take a quick shower for I still had to accomplish a task that concerns my whole being.  As I turned the shower on, the very first drops of water that touched the back of my neck sent waves of relief deep within me. I closed my eyes as the steam forming from the floor slowly rose in the air. Suddenly, everything from my recent dream went back. The thick fog was still there, but this time I wasn't anxious nor afraid. Instead, I felt safe and calm. I just stood there looking straight through the fog. Two silhouettes came slowly through the fog, one was from a grown up woman and the other was from a little girl. They stopped and just stood unmoved with no face or any remarkable physical feature a few distance from where I stood . They were all just black, but even without any recognition to point out, I knew that one was my wife Julie and the other was Claire. Then I opened my eyes.

            1:32 AM- Sporting the very last coat Julie bought for me two years ago, I hiked down the dark alleys of Manhattan with nothing except for a bundle of cash and a Swiss knife. My get up made me look so suspicious but less threatening especially to the thugs I passed by. Maybe they sensed I was nothing but a penniless street ignorant trying his best to hide under his coat.  Anyway, I just told myself that maybe I was not worth their time for I was not approached by anyone ever since. I was nervous though I had been doing it over the last three weeks. As I was already near toward my destination, I opted to run fast but with both feet hardly hitting the ground so as not to make any alarming sound.  Finally, I reached an abandoned industrial building near an old fishing port. My grandma said it used to be a tuna factory but because recession took its toll, it went down along with others that lack strong  monetary foundation.

            2:15 AM- I waited behind a parked crane lifter near the building and crouched like a hungry tiger waiting for its prey to cross its territory. Despite of what I was doing, I was only certain of two things: that my intention was good and that my patience was running out. I could no longer wait for another day to pass by. A car finally pulled over a few feet from where I was hiding and a short bald man in his late 60's stepped out of the car. He was Dr. Marcus Penn. Who was he? I didn't really know, but without a doubt he was the one whom I thought could save my life. I had followed this man of science for three weeks after a short trip I made to the coffee shop that dull morning sometime in mid July. He was sitting opposite to the man I was sure I saw on the TV the other day before that. The man he was talking to was Dr. Seymour, the man behind the discovery of the fourth dimension's existence. They were talking in such low voices but since I happen to sit next to them and my hearing ability is as sharp as the beating of cymbals, I happened to piece out parts of their conversation and at the same time knew who and how Dr. Marcus Penn could either make or break me.

            He was about to go inside the old building when I uncertainly called his name.

            "Dr. Penn?" I quietly inquired from behind.

            The old man turned around immediately and saw me emerging slowly behind the crane lifter. The expression on his face told me that he seemed to have seen a ghost. I was quite sure of it even though it was still dark and the old lamp post near the main entrance of the factory was slowly flickering its light. Dr. Penn shakily reached for his vest pocket to grab something but without any further delay I assured him that I meant no harm.

            "I'm sorry for startling you. Please, you need not to panic," I said as I slowly approached him with both palms facing toward his direction signaling him to calm down. "I am Carl Larson, a former employee of Wahlberg & Sons' Brokerage Firm. I don't know how to say this but I believe you have something that can help me."

            "Something I have?" he started with a disgust look on his face, "Look Mr. Larson, I don't, even by slight chance, have any interest in investing..."

            "That's not what I came for Dr. Penn," I dared to cut him off, "Surely, at this very hour, my purpose is of a very serious nature."

           

            "Proceed," Dr. Penn briefly answered but with interest drawn on his expression.

            "I heard a few weeks ago, while you were having a conversation with Dr. Seymour at a coffee shop near my apartment, that you were closer to perfecting a machine that could take your subject to a world where everything from here exists but the fate of each individual from here is different or altered from the world you were talking about," I recounted with excitement at the same time desperation in my voice.

            "Ah, yes. That world you are talking about is a dimension that people don't see with the naked eye.  A parallel universe, an alternative reality coexisting with one's own," Dr. Penn reminded me of my Physics teacher who was so genius he didn't even know how to explain a simple formula to small minds. I was not an exception but what Dr. Penn told me was different. It was complex yet I understood. Maybe because of my faith in the wonders of science or maybe, just maybe, I could easily be fooled.

            "You see, I badly need to get there. Maybe my family is still alive in there. I lost them during a robbery in our home a year ago. It was all my fault. I was so stupid, Dr. Penn. I felt like I was the one who put them to death," I told Dr. Penn as I started to sob, "I ran... ran away. I left them. No, what happened before that was the worse..."

            One year ago- I opened my eyes slowly as I fought the pain throbbing at the back of my head. I remembered being hit with something hard minutes before I lost my consciousness. When I was keenly aware of what was happening, I already saw my wife and daughter tied up and gagged. We were in my home office. As I started to shout for help, a man in a white mask pointed a gun straight to my face. The mask didn't cover much of his face for I still could see the fullness of his mouth and the depth of his eyes.

           

            "Make a noise and I will not hesitate to shoot you in your goddamned face," the masked man said as his eyes opened up so wide. From the devilish look on his face, I knew that he would pull the trigger anytime he wishes to.

            "What do you want from us? Let my family go or take everything you want, I don't care!" I said with indignation.

            "We don't also care about you, Mr. Larson," said the second masked man who is taller than the first one. He was sitting on my chair comfortably holding a stick of lit cigarette. It was as if he was engulfed by a deadly fog as the thick smoke coming from his cigar corrupted the air he was breathing in. He stood up and walked toward my wife and daughter with a menacing smile. He knelt beside my family and looked at me while puffing the cigarette until it burnt to its butt before letting out the smoke at my wife and daughter's faces. Julie and Claire were both suffocated from the smoke that swallowed them and had to cough up badly for  a few seconds. I struggled to get near them but the shorter masked man held me so tightly by the collar of my shirt.

            "Today will be your lucky day Mr. Larson. If you happen to answer my simple question, you can get out of here alive along with your family. On the contrary, if your stupidity happens to rule you out, you will see how your wife and daughter's brains paint these lovely walls. Then we'll toss yours outside for the neighborhood dogs to feast on," the second man continued as I stood still listening to every word he uttered while thinking of other ways to escape.

            "What question?" I asked immediately after I felt the gun's cold nozzle pointed up to my chin. I panicked so badly I almost peed in my pants. I was starting to lose myself in that instance.

             "Your boss, Mr. Wahlberg, has something he stole from our big boss. Now, we want it back! Wahlberg was a pain in the ass. We almost could have killed him so easily but our big boss thought he needed to get the combination to the safe before ending Wahlberg's life, so we tortured him and left him tied up in anguish. When we came back for him , he was already gone, nowhere to be found. And the only thing he left in the scene was a note written in blood containing your name," narrated the tall masked man as he paced back and forth in front of us.

            Upon hearing the story, I laughed whilst crying, but not because I was happy. I laughed because Wahlberg had outwitted me. I cried because I knew I would still die anyway. Mr. Wahlberg really did steal something from a very big business tycoon. He placed it in a safe in my very presence. He promised me that I could have half of what he would benefit from that thing and gave me the combination to the safe. Little did I know I was just a distraction when the time would come.

            "Damn him!" I cursed from my lungs, "It will be pointless if I tell you the combination, I bet Wahlberg has already shipped his safe elsewhere, far from your prying eyes. Don't you get it? He used me to distract you so he could run away!"

            "Bullshit! Just give them to me!" the tall man demanded as he pointed the gun on my right temple.

            "I... I think he's right," the short masked man butted in.

            I saw Claire and her eyes were on fire. She was a brave girl for even though fear was evident, she remained still with anger transpiring from deep within her. My wife on the other hand only sobbed and felt sorry for all of us.  She was also like Claire, brave but with a gentle heart. I was not like any of them. I was a disappointment, a stupid being trying so hard to live in a body of a fake genius.

            "I'll give you the combination but promise me to let us all go after," I thought of them as poor lines but they would suffice for the moment.

           

            "Very well. Damian, give him something he could write on," the tall man ordered to the short one.

            The short man named Damian quickly cut a small piece of paper from one of my binders on the office table and grabbed the first pen he first laid eyes on. When I took the pen and paper from him, I could sense that his hands were a bit shaking. Maybe, he was new in the business that he was in. I searched his eyes for a moment hoping to see a flick of hope that he could help us, but there was none. He too was afraid.

            After a few seconds of silence as I wrote the combination, the tall man gave a signal to Damian to release Julie and Claire. I hastily ran toward my family and enveloped them into my arms after giving the combination.

            "Now, I suggest you run as I countdown from ten to one," the tall man said.

,

            "Hey, hey! You are breaking our bargain," I replied with urgency.

            "Did you hear me say 'I promise' Larson?" the tall man said with a threatening smile on his lips, "I'm giving you a ten-second chance, if you blow this opportunity up you will lose the chance to live. And it's on! Ten..."

            "Please don't do this. I beg you. You already have what you wanted," Julie begged with a face wet from her tears.

            "Nine... eight...", he continued.

            "I suggest you better run now," Damian said trying to hide his concern.

            "Seven..."

            I grabbed my wife's hand as she held Claire's. We all started to run as fast as we could toward the front door so we could use my car that was parked outside the house. As I stepped outside the house with my family behind me, I heard four gunshots rang in the air. The loud shots startled me so I ran like a mad man leaving my family behind. As I was running, I took a snap look behind me and saw my wife and daughter sprawled on the floor with blood on their backs. The tall man then appeared by the doorway. I thought there was nothing else I could do so I continued running and sought for help.

            3:28 AM Present- I found myself sitting on an old couch inside a gloomy room of which I postulated as Dr. Penn's secret laboratory after recounting to him my story. Dr. Penn seemed to be deeply disturbed.

            "You are a very sad person Mr. Larson. I cannot imagine losing a beloved family member in a manner as gruesome as yours. The best piece I can advice to you is to start from a clean sheet and move on. I'm afraid I cannot extend any more help other than that." Dr. Penn said.

            "I will pay you! For now, this is all that I have, a down payment perhaps?" I replied as I took the bundle of cash out of my inner coat pocket.

           

            "I'm sorry Mr. Larson. I may have said that I was near perfecting my project, but no, I still am perfecting it until now. I can't seem to find the missing piece I need to complete it. I feel old already and my health is fast declining, I'm afraid I couldn't finish my machine in due time." Dr. Penn sadly said.

            "Have you tried it?" I asked.

            "Well, actually on a human being, not yet. I'm afraid that it would fail. There is still something missing. I just couldn't figure it out," Dr. Penn answered.

            "Just let me try it. Maybe it would work," I said with much eagerness.

            "I cannot be responsible for your death Mr. Larson, not in this world," Dr. Penn replied.

            "Death?" I paused at the question I uttered.

            "Yes, death. There is no guarantee that it would work as expected. You could disappear in the process, so it means you no longer exist in this dimension as what you are anticipating and I cannot assure your survival. All is still blurry," Dr. Penn answered.

            "Then do it Dr. Penn. I believe everything happens for a reason be it good or bad. I was such a coward in the past I would easily tremble at the slight sound of fear. I lost everything I have, including myself because of my cowardice. This would be the perfect time to prove that I am really not what I think I am," I said.

            Without a word, Dr. Penn walked toward a big object hidden under a big brown cloth. He slowly took the cloth away to reveal his controversial masterpiece. It was really not what I had imagined. I thought of a steal chair placed on a big glass dome with crazy wiring all around it. I imagined it looked like an upgraded electric chair that was slightly tilted backwards for a dramatic effect. I had it all wrong in my head for Dr. Penn's machine was just like a giant spotlight with multiple small bulbs on it's center instead of a big one. It was all too simple I couldn't imagine how it would take my life away.

            "When the light hits you, it turns into a vacuum and sucks you up. Remember what your science teacher told you about the light that enters the black hole? Well, it's the same thing. Your body will stretch and you can feel it in a split second. Of course, it hurts and the survival rate is too low to consider. Again, what you are doing is dangerous. I don't even know where my crowbar went when I tested this. The crowbar just stretched when it was sucked up and disappeared into the light," Dr. Penn warned.

            "All my life I have avoided danger. It is now the time to face it. " I simply answered with full determination burning in my soul. I told myself maybe I just sold my soul to the devil at that moment. I didn't give a damn anymore. I was already fearless. I was revitalized. I felt new. Death became the grand prize and a new life was the consolation.

            Dr. Penn motioned me to stand in front of the machine. He gave me a comforting smile as he hoped for the machine to work as he had not expected before. I walked slowly in front of the machine like a prisoner who's next in line among the death row. I felt every step that I was making as if they were my last. Every breath that I took in and out was the countdown. As I finally stood there facing the machine, I closed my eyes a bit and let out a heavy sigh. I started to pray in my head while Dr. Penn was telling me his final instructions. All I could actually hear were echoes coming from his voice and his words were beginning to slip away.

            Then, I heard the snap of the switch. The machine's lights came to life. It's gentle heat touched my skin and the buzzing sound it created sang a melancholic song to my ears. The heat started to raise up and I felt like burning and tearing apart. My feet were pulled by the light first and I could see it being sucked up. I felt my air sacs getting thinner and thinner. I was struggling to get some oxygen but my lungs, something was crushing them. There was no turning back. Now, it was my head's turn to be stretched. It was painful. Half of my body was already numb but the pain in my head was something one could not contain. I was dying as I was disappearing into the light. I screamed in terror.

            6:10 AM- Someone suddenly tapped my right shoulder causing me to open my eyes. When I came to see who just disturbed my sleep, I panicked suddenly. I was confused beyond belief to see the Dr. Penn I knew since three weeks ago. It was an old man, who looked exactly as Dr. Penn, garbed in a greasy apron. I looked around and realized that I was in my favorite childhood diner.  The local diner where my parents used to take me and my two sisters when we were kids.

           

            "You want some coffee? I saw you here the other day falling asleep the same spot where you are sitting right now. The night shift is really eating you up, eh?" the old man asked. He was far from the intelligent Dr. Penn I had a conversation with last night.

            I was about to answer him when the door in the diner opened. I saw my Julie and Claire entering with smiles beaming on their faces. I turned speechless and watched them seated themselves a few tables away facing mine.

            "Oh, they always come here every morning. They are lovely to watch, aren't they?" the old man said when he spotted my reaction upon seeing them.

            Julie saw me and the old man looking at them and with a face showing faultless perfection, she smiled.